It took a while to get the formula established by the original Defense of the Ancients mod correct, but eventually, one developer managed: Riot Games. Since its inception only a few short years ago, League of Legends has become one of the most-played games in the world. It dwarfs even Dota 2 – by all rights, the direct successor to the title’s ancestor – in users. 

There are many possible reasons behind Riot’s success, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. Instead, we’re here to talk about something else. We’re here to talk about the fact that, outside of the upper tiers of ranked, the vast majority of players simply don’t get it. We’re here to lay a few ground-rules for those people, ladies and gents. Today, we’re going to establish the ten things even the newest player absolutely needs to understand about this game. 

It’s A Team Game

It’s actually quite startling to me how many people don’t seem to understand one of the most basic tenets of the MOBA: teamwork. There are five people per team for a reason – so that they can work together towards victory. Chances are fairly good that unless you vastly out-skill whoever you’re up against, you’re going to need the other four schmucks on your side to help you out if you’re going to be victorious. 

When it comes right down to it, lone wolves rarely win games on their own. Don’t believe me? Try fighting a 5v1, and then tell me you don’t need your allies. 

Collaboration Trumps Pick Order

Some time ago, Riot released an official statement saying that, if push came to shove, pick order(the in which people on your team can select their champions) trumps call order (whoever hammers out the role they want first). In a sad demonstration of the LoL community’s level of reading comprehension, a startling number of players have taken this to mean that whoever picks first should get their role of choice no matter what the rest of the team wants. Here’s Riot’s official word on the matter

“Pick Order is meant to be a last resort when settling discussions – this is why we are endorsing it and not mandating it. Communication and collaboration are still the most important things when it comes to playing ranked games, and we hope players will continue to uphold the Summoner’s Code in all of their matches. If you refuse to communicate with your team and rely only on Pick Order to determine your role selection, you are still being a toxic player and this will reflect negatively upon you. 

So, yeah. Suck it up, snowflakes. You aren’t always going to get the role you want, and sometimes the team’ll be better off for it. Speaking of which…

You Need To Diversify

If you’re playing ranked, you can’t just play one role. Eventually, there’s going to come a time when you’ll have to play a role that isn’t your main. You need to be prepared for that eventuality. Experiment a bit – try to get better at the roles you’re unfamiliar with, and try to work out which roles you could play a secondary to your main. 

Trash Talk Never Wins Games

Imagine, if you would, that you’re having a terrible game. You’re missing skill-shots, falling for obvious traps, running in where you shouldn’t…basically, it’s the worst you’ve ever played. You’re well aware of this – and extremely unhappy about it. Now, imagine that one of your teammates – in their infinite wisdom – begins spouting a torrent of abuse in your direction. 

If you get distracted by that abuse, you’ll play worse. You’ll feel worse. And that abuse? It’ll piss off and distract everyone else as well, especially if you respond to it. At the end of the day, if you really must say something to someone who’s playing poorly, say it diplomatically and constructively. Tearing their head off will probably make them play worse, and it’ll foster an environment that’s not exactly conducive to victory. Show a bit of bloody respect and dignity.  

Otherwise, you’re exactly the sort of person the tribunal was created to eliminated. Of course, on that note…

The Tribunal Is Not Your Personal Army

The Tribunal is a mechanism designed to weed out, judge, and punish problem players. It’s a system created so that the people who play LoL have some recourse against trolling and abuse. It does not exist for you to report a player just because you don’t like them, or because they’re not playing up to your standards.If you’re reporting someone as unskilled or reporting them for feeding and you make the request of others to do the same, their case isn’t going before the tribunal…

Yours is. 

Not Every Champion That Beats You Is Overpowered

I’m not going to deny that League of Legends has some balance issues. It most definitely does, and it always will so long as Riot keeps releasing new champions. It’s nothing to do with them – it’s the fact that it’s nigh impossible for any human being to fully balance a game with so many different characters and possible builds. Someone will eventually find something that’s broken, bugged, or imbalanced. It’s inevitable. 

That said, Not every champion that beats you is overpowered. Not every champion that makes mincemeat of your team is overpowered. Not every champion that carries is overpowered. 

The next time you’re chomping at the bit to declare a champion horrendously, unmistakably imbalanced, consider how many kills they have and creeps they’ve killed vs your own respective kill count and creep score. It may well be that they’re just fed, and you’ve no idea how to deal with the champion they’re playing. 

Harsh, but true. 

Sometimes, You Need To Be Passive

It really, honestly, truly sucks, but sometimes you’re going to need to play it safe and be passive. You’re not going to be able to go toe to toe with your foes all the time, nor are you going to be able to sit out in lane and farm. Sit back, watch, and wait. You’re not helping anyone if you charge out and die like a fool. 

It’s Not Always Someone Else’s Fault

Again, this one is self-explanatory. I’ve something about a lot of the players who fly off the handle when they die – nine times out of ten, the death is at least partially their fault. When something doesn’t go your way and you end up dead, it’s worth looking at what you did wrong that brought you to that point. 
Teemo Is Satan

It’s a little known fact that “Captain” Teemo is one of many names and forms that Lucifer, the Prince if Lies, uses for himself when he decides to venture into the mortal coil for a lively r
omp.  The in-joke about Teemo’s global taunt thus has a bit of truth to it – everybody DOES want to kill the satanic hamster, because at their core they realize what he really is – and what he represents. They strive to rid the world of this monstrosity, that future generations might be spared his dark influence. 

No, Seriously. Teemo. Is. Satan.

He’ll eat your babies.